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Marks have dropped and I'm stressing without getting anywhere

A photo of vancitykid vancitykid
Well, back in Grades 8, 9, 10 I was pulling high 90's without putting in any effort at all at home, I started doing worse in Grade 11, and now in Grade 12 my marks are in the 80's. I've hardly gone to any parties this year, haven't been drinking or smoking and I've basically sworn off video games, but my marks are worse than when I was out enjoying myself at every possible opportunity. It's the work habits man, I haven't learned any through my 4 years of high school and it's what's killing me now. I guess I gotta learn, but man it's depressing to see these kids that I know aren't as smart as me exceed me because they're working harder. My parents always said it would all catch up to me and now it has. I made fun of the "tryhards" but the fact is that they're pulling better grades, and I envy those work habits. Even though I've become more removed socially, and tried to remove the things that distract me (no matter how much I enjoy them) to the point where I will completely ignore texts, calls, messages on FB, I feel like it's making no difference. I want to work hard, but for some reason I can't. I want to bring my top 5 average up to 91-94%, something I always thought would come for granted, but now I'm in the most stressful period in my life trying to obtain those kinds of marks. Can anyone offer any sort of help, advice or comfort?
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A photo of superstar2011 superstar2011
Go ask the 'tryhards' for help when you need it. They can do what they do because they usually know how to allocate their time. It's difficult to break a habit, so what you do is cut back bit by bit, that you get used to it. Don't deprive yourself altogether, that doesn't work so well (in a matter of days, you'll probably give up). Also, I'm not sure how you know other kids that "aren't as smart as you but are exceeding you because they're working harder." That statement is probably what's getting you nowhere. If you can respect the trying students, and learn from them, you are ought to bounce back.
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A photo of Toronto12 Toronto12

@vancitykid wrote
Well, back in Grades 8, 9, 10 I was pulling high 90's without putting in any effort at all at home, I started doing worse in Grade 11, and now in Grade 12 my marks are in the 80's. I've hardly gone to any parties this year, haven't been drinking or smoking and I've basically sworn off video games, but my marks are worse than when I was out enjoying myself at every possible opportunity. It's the work habits man, I haven't learned any through my 4 years of high school and it's what's killing me now. I guess I gotta learn, but man it's depressing to see these kids that I know aren't as smart as me exceed me because they're working harder. My parents always said it would all catch up to me and now it has. I made fun of the "tryhards" but the fact is that they're pulling better grades, and I envy those work habits. Even though I've become more removed socially, and tried to remove the things that distract me (no matter how much I enjoy them) to the point where I will completely ignore texts, calls, messages on FB, I feel like it's making no difference. I want to work hard, but for some reason I can't. I want to bring my top 5 average up to 91-94%, something I always thought would come for granted, but now I'm in the most stressful period in my life trying to obtain those kinds of marks. Can anyone offer any sort of help, advice or comfort?



After reading your message, I noticed that you are quite concerned about your marks, your self-esteem, confidence and social dignity. However, I must tell you that your attitude and behavior will certainly cost you future opportunities in life and may possibly screw you over in university. Consider the parable;

" There are two men born in the same town. One is born rich and is wealthy, the other is born poor and in severe poverty. For the next 20 years, the rich man indulged himself in luxury and never worked in his life. The other man being born poor, worked on his farm day and night and despite little progress he never gave up. One day in the city, the rich man saw the poor farmer and asked him "Why do you work so hard? Can you not see that your farm goods will always be this little and that you won't be able to have what I have." The poor farmer replied and said "I work hard because I believe I can change my life around.". As both men part, the rich man laughs because of the poor farmer's foolish determination and goal.

For the next ten years, the poor farmer continued to farm day and night, year on year. However, the rich man continued to indulge himself in luxury and never worked on his inheritance. The second time the rich man entered the city, he noticed that there was a large crowd gathering a yellow clothed man. It turned out that the man was giving away gold and richest to anything he saw. Thinking that this man in the center was of great importance (perhaps a king or lord), the rich man approached to the center of the crowd. However, to his surprise, it was the poor farmer that he had met 10 years ago. The two men reunite and shared stories and experiences they've encountered during the 10 years. Realizing that the poor farmer has now become successful or even more successful than himself, the rich man envied the poor man and vowed that he will begin his work and become richer than him. However, everything was too late. His once glorious wealthy inheritance has already shrank to miniscule amounts and coupled with the lack of experience in farming and working day to day, the rich man could not handle the work that the poor farmer had done. (If you believe that the rich man had what he deserved then I can safely say, read further).

Now I haven't come to bash you and tell you that your a horrible person or that you deserve what you get. However, my parable is just a reflection of how you view others and your current situation atm. If you don't work hard now or even in the future, you won't be able to succeed and even when you begin to try, it will be too late. As a second year university student at UTSC, I've seen and encountered numerous cases where people were in fact smarter than me but their lack of good studying habits has ultimately screwed up their G.P.A. In fact, I knew friends from Waterloo who wasted over $20,000 due to bad studying habits adopted from high school which resulted them being kicked out.

Here's what you should do;

1) Forget about your past reputation or dignity of being smarter than other people.
Make yourself equal and become friends or even acquaintances with them so that
you can learn how they study and also build better interpersonal relationships.
(It is a fact that people who network, accept others and are social tend to
achieve faster promotions that other people with different personalities;
this will build your character). Also during university, you won't be meeting people that are dumber than you but those that will be the same and smarter than you are. The only difference that makes you unique from them will be your study habits. So think about it.
2) Motivate yourself that you can do better.When your studying for a test or quiz, don't just think that it's easy and can be handled with a all nigher or in 1 hr of study time. Spend an extra hour or day or two to prepare. (In university, exams may be clumped, harder and will require more time. Studying till the last minute or not enough, will seriously give you horrible results in your grades. In addition, your building good study habits which will further prepare you when you enter the work force.)


Anyways, I hope you not take on my advices that can improve your marks, social life and future benefits but build a positive attitude and respectful view of others in life.\
Good luck.



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